Friday, January 18, 2008

Living With Addiction ~ Part XVI ~ Freedom?

Continued from Living With Addiction ~ Part XV

It felt so good to have him out of my life, to be free of worry, free from his addiction, free from him ~ so to speak.

He promised he would help with money by paying my car insurance and he stuck to that promise.. However he would call me, a lot. I got sick of it, I didn't want to talk to him. I was happy for the first time in many years and when ever he would contact me via computer or phone it would put a dent in that happiness.

I began blocking him on the computer and not answering his calls, he threatened to stop the insurance payments unless "I was nice to him".

I was no longer falling for his emotional blackmail.

I wasn't going to let him run my life anymore.

I no longer had any feelings for this person anymore and had no desire to be in contact with him. He had screwed with my emotions too too many times and I was done with it.

He was true to his word (for once) and quit paying my insurance, since he lived up north I guess the notice went to him and not me so I was not aware that had been cancelled until I went to renew my car registration 6 months later. In the long run he cost me quite a bit on that little temper tantrum.

It was worth every single cent though.

In October I began filing for divorce. This is where I discovered how funny life is. It cost us $25.00 to obtain a marriage license in the state of CT. It cost me $350.00 to file for divorce in the state of FL. That's without any legal help. Why do you think this is??

(Not sure how much it costs to obtain a marriage license in FL)

It cost another $70/75 to have him served in CT by one of their State Marshall's. Once I got verification he was served all I had to do was wait for a court date.

Of course, he was not thrilled with being served with divorce papers and swore that he would have one of his fathers lawyers stop the divorce. Knowing then what I did, I called his bluff and dared him to try. At this point I had more then drug abuse to fight him back with and no judge in the world would have listened to him. I almost wish he would have made good on that threat. Heck the Judge would have probably thrown him in the loony bin...

The afternoon of December 1, 2005 I walked into the judges chambers to finalize everything. It was very different then my first divorce.. The judge asked "Are you sure.." and I said "Yes" very sure of myself and that was it.

I left the courthouse feeling better then I had felt in a long time. As I crossed the Main Street bridge there was a American Bald Eagle flying low over my car, now kids, if that isn't a sign I don't know what is!

There is one last post to come one how happy I still am and how improved my life has become.. stay tuned! I am super busy right now so it may take me a little while to get it to you, but it will come!

Past Posts in this series:

Living With Addiction ~ Part I
Living With Addiction ~ Part II

Living With Addiction ~ Part III
Living With Addiction ~ Part IV

Living With Addiction ~ Part V
Living With Addiction ~ Part VI

Living With Addiction ~ Part VII
Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII

Living With Addiction ~ Part IX
Living With Addiction ~ Part X

Living With Addiction ~ Part XI
Living With Addition ~ Part XII

Living With Addition ~ Part XIII
Living With Addiction ~ Part XIV

Living With Addiction ~ Part XV


Sarah said...

I celebrate October 2nd every year as my own personal Independence Day. I know that light feeling!

Lysa Napolitano said...

Sarah, My ringtone became "Independence Day" by Martina McBride and damn it felt good to be rid of that marriage and life.

Ann Cummings said...

Hi Lysa - I just went back and re-read the posts I had already read and then picked up from there. I look forward to reading your last post on this, knowing how far you've come to make it through all that. You've come out the other end, and you've blossomed.

It takes going through the things in life we're dealt to end up where we are, and despite all the pain and heartbreak you went through, you've come out on this end a better stronger person. You can tell that just by the way you've written about your journey.

I hope to some day meet you. And that just might happen soon. I'll be down in Florida next month and will be hoping to meet up with could join us!


Lysa Napolitano said...

Ann, how exciting that your coming! I hope I will have time to meet you! What part of March will you be here?

I do have one more post to do on this, perhaps two depending on how long it gets. I've done a lot of thinking about how to write it. You are very right with your comment. I can't go into detail because it will be part of that post :) thanks for coming by! I hope to meet you next month!