Sunday, December 9, 2007

Living With Addition ~ Part XIII

Continued from Living With Addition ~ Part XII

When I started this series I thought it would only go about 5 or 6 posts. I had no idea it would grow to become the monster it did.

Hurricanes Charley and Frances had come through the Daytona area and did a pretty good job of uprooting homes, property and lives.

They made me realize what was important in life and what was trivial. Hurricane Jeanne was on her way now, she was a small storm compared to the last two, but I had had enough.

At some point that September of 2004, I don't remember if it was between Frances and Jeanne or after, the ex fell but he wouldn't admit it. I busted him dead to rights too.

You see, when he used, he would fall asleep sitting up, straight up, right smack in the middle of doing something. Then, he would jerk awake and continue doing whatever it was he was doing when he fell asleep. For instance, lighting a cigarette.

Once I saw this I waited for my chance to search the house, when I got that chance I found the evidence. The container of liquefied drugs he would inject with a needle just like he used to do.

Yes, I went ballistic. I put the container back and waited for him to return home.

When he did, I waited for him to go in the bathroom and take "his time" in there. When he came out I confronted him with the container once he started to "nod off".

He back peddled as hard as he could, I wouldn't hear any of it. He tried to tell me it was allergy pills. He thought I was that dumb.

Even the people at the meetings were telling me he was back using again. I wasn't even going to the meetings and word was getting back to me. (I did go to his 1 year anniversary meeting, some people there thought that he didn't deserve that one year chip. This happened between hurricanes Frances and Jeanne too.)

This stopped for a couple weeks, then one night we were trying to decide between pizza and Wendy's for dinner. He didn't want to go pick up so we were going to get pizza. His sponsor called, he told his sponsor he had a headache, the next thing I knew he was more then willing to go get Wendy's.

Yeah, I was born yesterday.. The next day I found the container of liquid in a new hiding place in the bathroom.

I told him that night I wanted out. He cried, he swore he wasn't using. I told him I didn't believe him, I saw the proof, he couldn't hide it from me. I didn't love him anymore, it was time for me to go.

Addicts don't get it.

They think we're blind to their actions and even after 7 years of watching them we don't see what they are doing. They will lie through their teeth to get what they want from you, to get you to do what they want. Only you can break that cycle.

I was about to do that very thing...

Living With Addiction ~ Part I
Living With Addiction ~ Part II

Living With Addiction ~ Part III
Living With Addiction ~ Part IV

Living With Addiction ~ Part V
Living With Addiction ~ Part VI

Living With Addiction ~ Part VII
Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII

Living With Addiction ~ Part IX
Living With Addiction ~ Part X

Living With Addiction ~ Part XI
Living With Addition ~ Part XII


Sarah Cooper said...

I've been busy and hadn't gotten back in a while, I just read the last three all at once. Lysa, this would make a good book if you wanted to put it together like that. There are a lot of people going through similar things, and sometimes it helps just to know you're not alone.

Lysa Napolitano said...

Sarah, One never knows what one will do in the future ;)

Jack Boardman said...

Lysa: This series has been difficult for me to read--I went through a similar experience with my mother, many years dealing with her alcoholism, the denials, the lies, the promises..finally we (my brother & uncles intervened. She spent six months in in-patient treatment. That treatment and her resolve did it. She remained an alcohol-free alcoholic the remaining years of her life. Sadly this is not the rule with addiction.

Lysa Napolitano said...

Jack, I can understand as parts were very hard for me to write. In fact I had a couple nightmares while writing this.

I'm can't imagine living with a parent, sibling or child that has an addiction, I'm glad your mothers remaining years were alchol free.