Life After Living With Addiction ~ The End!

It's finally time to wrap up this series! Time to tell you how life can go from bad to good to wonderful.

If you want to catch up I'll leave all the links to the past posts at the bottom of this post.

When I last posted (aways back) in Life After Living With Addiction ~ Part 1 I told you I that a ride was coming up for St. Jude and I would be going with a friends husband. That ride was taking place in April, after Bike Week of 2006.

Bike Week that year was quite exciting for me, I spent it with my girlfriend and her 39 Chevy Sedan and boy did we turn some heads. Her man had to go out of town that week so we decided to go out and have some fun. Let me tell you, this car is one heck of a hot rod. It used to drag all over the NE Circuit back in the 60s. In fact one person even recognized it and told us it used to be painted silver. I got the biggest kick out of watching my girlfriend shock the men by knowing every inch of her car and being able to answer every question they threw at her.

The last Friday of Bike Week, her and I along with a 3rd friend went to the White Eagle and she introduced me to someone who was about to change my life. It was the night I met Steve.



There he was sitting on the bench in front of the bar, just watching the crowd & minding his own business when my girlfriend sat next to him and began talking to him. I remember it like yesterday. She introduced me and our other friend to Steve and jokingly mentioned she was trying to find a date for me. I shot back some wise crack that next time I gave out my number I was going to get the guys number at the same time. Next thing I know I had a card in my hand.



About that time I had to run off and get a camera to a friend and when I went back to the bench Steve was gone. I remember thinking to myself, I blew that one.


About a month later Steve calls me at work. (took him long enough!) He invites me to go on a Poker Run which I believe was a week after the St. Jude ride. He actually wanted to take me on the Bikes and Blues ride, but I had already made plans and didn't want to break them.


At this point in my life, I didn't think I was ready for a full time relationship. I told Steve that up front, I just wanted to have fun and enjoy life.

We did the poker run and we had a great time. We both felt we really connected that day. The next day was Sunday, my day to meet my friends on Main Street, he called me as I was headed that way and I invited him to meet me there, he was about 15 mins behind me. We've been pretty much inseparable every since.

Steve has been the best thing to ever happen me as far as a partner in my life goes. He treats me like a person, an equal and a lady. He treats me better then anyone has ever treated me before.

I remember when I used to run away to the beach while married to the addict, I would see couples that seemed to be in what is called "the golden years" holding hands, I would feel jealous. I knew I didn't have that kind of love and I thought then I never would would. Well my friends, never say never.

I've finally found that happiness. I wasn't even trying.

Thank you for not believing a word I said Baby!

Living With Addiction ~ Part I
Living With Addiction ~ Part II

Living With Addiction ~ Part III
Living With Addiction ~ Part IV

Living With Addiction ~ Part V
Living With Addiction ~ Part VI

Living With Addiction ~ Part VII
Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII

Living With Addiction ~ Part IX
Living With Addiction ~ Part X

Living With Addiction ~ Part XI
Living With Addition ~ Part XII

Living With Addition ~ Part XIII
Living With Addiction ~ Part XIV

Living With Addiction ~ Part XV
Living With Addiction ~ Part XVI ~ Freedom?

Life After Living With Addiction ~ Part 1

Life After Living With Addiction ~ Part 1

Contined from my Living With Addiction Series.

I guess from reading other posts in this blog you can tell I've been a pretty happy & busy girl the past couple three years.

I can't begin to imagine staying in that marriage with the way things were.

I look around at some people I know now who have family members with the same type of addiction, I don't know if they have the luxury I did. The luxury of turning their backs and walking away.

How does a brother, sister, mother or father tell their child or sibling to straighten up or get out, then when they don't, kick them out of their lives? Permanently? Turn their back on them and walk away?

As you know if you've read my series, it took a lot for me to turn my back and walk. It was the best thing I ever did for myself though. The freedom it offered me felt incredible. I knew my ex's problems were not my fault. These issues were around long before I was.

We, as the spouse or family member of the addict are not the cause of the addiction, please always remember that, no matter what you have been told.

The first thing I had to do was to learn how to be happy with me before anything else. I feel that if we are not happy with who we are we will never be happy in any type of relationship.

I had to discover who I was, what I was about. Life was now about ME.

Honestly, I had the best time discovering myself. I would walk the beach after work, rent any movie I wanted, and I found a new passion..

My new love was my camera. I found it so easy to find something to photograph no matter where I went. I would photograph ghost crabs on the beach, jelly fish, surfers, bike week events, you name it I took photos of it.

My camera was and still is with me 99% of the time.

I would be silly with my friends, go out and have fun with them. Work on my house, I actually painted the whole outside of my rental duplex for extra money. I had a good time doing it too.

I soon figured out I missed riding, I even thought about taking a motorcycle class and possibly getting my own bike one day. However I have severe arthritus and that just won't happen with hands the way they are.

My friends husband would take me out if she had to work, we were/are friends with Blackfoot and he and I rode to Sanford to see them Biketoberfest of 05. It was a blast.

Then one day I opened the Pennysaver and saw Mickey Jones would be in town for a St Jude benefit ride. I loved Mickey in Home Improvement, how cool! As for St. Jude? What better charity event is there? Lucky for me, my friend had to work and her husband said he would be my escort..

To Be Continued....

Living With Addiction ~ Part XVI ~ Freedom?

Continued from Living With Addiction ~ Part XV


It felt so good to have him out of my life, to be free of worry, free from his addiction, free from him ~ so to speak.



He promised he would help with money by paying my car insurance and he stuck to that promise.. However he would call me, a lot. I got sick of it, I didn't want to talk to him. I was happy for the first time in many years and when ever he would contact me via computer or phone it would put a dent in that happiness.


I began blocking him on the computer and not answering his calls, he threatened to stop the insurance payments unless "I was nice to him".


I was no longer falling for his emotional blackmail.


I wasn't going to let him run my life anymore.


I no longer had any feelings for this person anymore and had no desire to be in contact with him. He had screwed with my emotions too too many times and I was done with it.


He was true to his word (for once) and quit paying my insurance, since he lived up north I guess the notice went to him and not me so I was not aware that had been cancelled until I went to renew my car registration 6 months later. In the long run he cost me quite a bit on that little temper tantrum.


It was worth every single cent though.


In October I began filing for divorce. This is where I discovered how funny life is. It cost us $25.00 to obtain a marriage license in the state of CT. It cost me $350.00 to file for divorce in the state of FL. That's without any legal help. Why do you think this is??


(Not sure how much it costs to obtain a marriage license in FL)


It cost another $70/75 to have him served in CT by one of their State Marshall's. Once I got verification he was served all I had to do was wait for a court date.

Of course, he was not thrilled with being served with divorce papers and swore that he would have one of his fathers lawyers stop the divorce. Knowing then what I did, I called his bluff and dared him to try. At this point I had more then drug abuse to fight him back with and no judge in the world would have listened to him. I almost wish he would have made good on that threat. Heck the Judge would have probably thrown him in the loony bin...


The afternoon of December 1, 2005 I walked into the judges chambers to finalize everything. It was very different then my first divorce.. The judge asked "Are you sure.." and I said "Yes" very sure of myself and that was it.

I left the courthouse feeling better then I had felt in a long time. As I crossed the Main Street bridge there was a American Bald Eagle flying low over my car, now kids, if that isn't a sign I don't know what is!

There is one last post to come one how happy I still am and how improved my life has become.. stay tuned! I am super busy right now so it may take me a little while to get it to you, but it will come!




Past Posts in this series:


Living With Addiction ~ Part I
Living With Addiction ~ Part II


Living With Addiction ~ Part III
Living With Addiction ~ Part IV


Living With Addiction ~ Part V
Living With Addiction ~ Part VI


Living With Addiction ~ Part VII
Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII


Living With Addiction ~ Part IX
Living With Addiction ~ Part X


Living With Addiction ~ Part XI
Living With Addition ~ Part XII


Living With Addition ~ Part XIII
Living With Addiction ~ Part XIV


Living With Addiction ~ Part XV

Living With Addiction ~ Part XV

Continued from Living With Addiction ~ Part XIV ...


It was either 3 yrs ago today or tomorrow when my ex packed up a small U-haul trailer and our two dogs and left for his hometown up north. That was one of the best/worst days of my life.

He had made me a deal, he would pay my car insurance to help me make my bills. I thought that was the least he could do for me after what he put me through.

Before they all left, I sat on the floor in the corner of my bedroom and held Shadow tight and just cried.

(The ex offered to let Shadow stay with me, but that damn dog loved him so much she would get depressed when he was out of town. How could I keep her away from him? I'm just not that selfish.)

Shadow had enough of my blubbering after a couple minutes and went bounding out of the bedroom, unaware what was happening.


I of course continued to cry and he came in to cry to console me. I told him to just leave, go... I didn't want him near me.

I guess he thought I was sad at him leaving, (yeah, he was that into himself) I was sad at the fact Shadow was leaving. She had been in our lives since she was old enough to leave her mama, 6 or 7 weeks old. Just a tiny black ball of fur, raised by two cats.

I remained on the floor for a good 15 minutes after I heard the car pull away, making sure it wouldn't return. I didn't want my last memory of Shadow to be seeing her in that car pulling away.

Once I was sure they were gone for good I jumped up from the floor and started to clean house. No, I don't mean with a broom, I mean with strength I didn't know I had.

The first thing to go? The bedding! I had purchased new bedding with my Christmas bonus and had it in my trunk. Any furniture he left behind, I pulled right out the front door straight to the street.

My visiting girlfriend was still here, she thought at first she would help, but decided to stay out of my way. (She later told me I had scared her.) I was a woman on a mission. I did find quite a few of his things that I boxed up and put in my outside storage in case he ever noticed it missing.

I wasn't done until the house no longer looked like he ever lived there. It felt damn good, When I was done, I felt like a ton of weight had been taken from my shoulders. I felt free for the first time since 1989. (the year I met my first husband)

My father was coming soon too. I was so looking forward to it. I would no longer be embarrassed of my home or anything else in my life.

A new year and a new life were waiting for me... but I didn't have him totally out of my life just yet...

Past Posts in this series:

Living With Addiction ~ Part I
Living With Addiction ~ Part II

Living With Addiction ~ Part III
Living With Addiction ~ Part IV

Living With Addiction ~ Part V
Living With Addiction ~ Part VI

Living With Addiction ~ Part VII
Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII

Living With Addiction ~ Part IX
Living With Addiction ~ Part X

Living With Addiction ~ Part XI
Living With Addition ~ Part XII

Living With Addition ~ Part XIII
Living With Addiction ~ Part XIV