Thursday, February 14, 2008

Life After Living With Addiction ~ Part 1

Contined from my Living With Addiction Series.

I guess from reading other posts in this blog you can tell I've been a pretty happy & busy girl the past couple three years.

I can't begin to imagine staying in that marriage with the way things were.

I look around at some people I know now who have family members with the same type of addiction, I don't know if they have the luxury I did. The luxury of turning their backs and walking away.

How does a brother, sister, mother or father tell their child or sibling to straighten up or get out, then when they don't, kick them out of their lives? Permanently? Turn their back on them and walk away?

As you know if you've read my series, it took a lot for me to turn my back and walk. It was the best thing I ever did for myself though. The freedom it offered me felt incredible. I knew my ex's problems were not my fault. These issues were around long before I was.

We, as the spouse or family member of the addict are not the cause of the addiction, please always remember that, no matter what you have been told.

The first thing I had to do was to learn how to be happy with me before anything else. I feel that if we are not happy with who we are we will never be happy in any type of relationship.

I had to discover who I was, what I was about. Life was now about ME.

Honestly, I had the best time discovering myself. I would walk the beach after work, rent any movie I wanted, and I found a new passion..

My new love was my camera. I found it so easy to find something to photograph no matter where I went. I would photograph ghost crabs on the beach, jelly fish, surfers, bike week events, you name it I took photos of it.

My camera was and still is with me 99% of the time.

I would be silly with my friends, go out and have fun with them. Work on my house, I actually painted the whole outside of my rental duplex for extra money. I had a good time doing it too.
I soon figured out I missed riding, I even thought about taking a motorcycle class and possibly getting my own bike one day. However I have severe arthritus and that just won't happen with hands the way they are.

My friends husband would take me out if she had to work, we were/are friends with Blackfoot and he and I rode to Sanford to see them Biketoberfest of 05. It was a blast.

Then one day I opened the Pennysaver and saw Mickey Jones would be in town for a St Jude benefit ride. I loved Mickey in Home Improvement, how cool! As for St. Jude? What better charity event is there? Lucky for me, my friend had to work and her husband said he would be my escort..

To Be Continued....


Jack Boardman said...

Lysa! A cliffhanger? Nicely done--I'll have to wait for the next chapter in this very compelling story!

Lysa Napolitano said...

It's almost over Boomer! :)

Sarah said...

Lysa, that feeling of getting to know yourself again is so freeing, there's just nothing like it. Just getting yourself out of a bad situation is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself, and it's an excellent start on the road to liking yourself again and being happy.

It's a scary start, but even just moments later it's like there's a warm sunbeam glowing on you.

I know you know, just saying it again in case someone else reading is still hanging on to something that's not working because it's scary to be alone. It is scary, and but it gets wonderful pretty fast. :)

Lysa Napolitano said...

Sarah, you are so right lady! There is no better feeling! Thanks for your comments, I hope your stopping by and adding your thoughts do help someone. :) It means a lot to me!