Living With Addiction ~ Part XI

This is a continuing series I have been doing about what it was like living with my ex husband, who was addicted to prescription pain medicine. So far he has done things like throw himself down a flight of stairs, set his hand on fire, and shot himself in the stomach to get pain pills.

The last post I did he was active in Alcoholics Anonymous and seemed to be making an effort to stay sober after what seemed an accidental OD on Ultram in February of 2004.

Over the summer I would go very early to the beach on the weekends and leave about the time it would start to get crowded and hot. I started to look forward to those days of quiet, just me and the ocean though I didn't know why.

Things at the house had been going very well. He was going to work, going to his meetings and staying sober, but something was changing.

Then Friday, August 13th came along. We were prepared, but how prepared can one be for a hurricane? The day before Hurricane Charley decided it was going to move towards SW Florida and come across the state and exit at Daytona Beach. All this was to happen on Friday the 13th.

The morning of Friday the 13th, Charley hit SW Florida as a Cat 4 hurricane. (at one point it did hit a cat. 5 for a few minutes) It devastated the town of Punta Gorda then began coming towards us and I was terrified.


The ex was still at the Salvation Army and had to go to work. He was going to leave me home alone and go to work. He wasn't making much more then minimum wage, it wasn't like this was a real important job. I was livid. How dare he even think about leaving me home alone with the animals while this monster storm was bearing down on us.

He left at about 4PM, the outer bands were just coming in, I wouldn't even talk to him. I just sat with the news on and my computer up watching every move Charley was making on his march across the state.

Two hours later the ex was home, I was very relieved so were the animals. I understand there isn't anything he could do to make the storm stay away, however I didn't want to be alone.

Charley finally hit us around 10PM and was gone by 11PM. We lost power around 1015 and I went to bed and believe it or not went right to sleep. My dad called from TX to tell me the storm had passed and couldn't believe I was asleep.

For some reason at some point after the storm had passed we had to go to the ER again. I only remember because we had no power and it had only been 2 days & I was waiting in my car because I was angry at him about this ER trip. I remember sitting in my car and listening to the radio, I remember people calling in complaining they had no power and how angry I got at them.

People had no homes left, some had no roof on their house, some lost their lives, and these people who have a roof and a small inconvenience of no power are whining.

That ER trip, for whatever reason we went, was the last ER trip I made with him. This was the beginning of the end of everything I worked to save over the last year.

Living With Addiction ~ Part I
Living With Addiction ~ Part II

Living With Addiction ~ Part III
Living With Addiction ~ Part IV

Living With Addiction ~ Part V
Living With Addiction ~ Part VI

Living With Addiction ~ Part VII
Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII

Living With Addiction ~ Part IX
Living With Addiction ~ Part X

Living With Addiction ~ Part X

Continued from Living With Addiction ~ Part IX

At some point after that ER trip in January my ex lost his job that had brought us to Florida.

It was really no big deal, I couldn't stand his boss or the boss's wife. Funny thing looking back now, my ex wasn't much different from them.

His birthday fell around NASCAR's biggest race, the Daytona 500 and I was able to get him a ticket and he was invited to go with our friends.

He was like a kid in a candy store. I figured he deserved it. He had a whole new attitude and was attending the AA meetings every day, talking with his sponsor, doing what was right.

So I thought...

He had a blast at the race, came home all smiles and exhausted, all of them were smiles. I don't remember who won, but I remember everyone had a good time. He was exhausted though, he been at the track since 8am and it was about 8pm so he went straight to bed.

Thirty minutes later I heard a strange noise coming from the bedroom, at first I thought it was Shadow, the cocker spaniel snoring. When I heard it again I went in and looked and it was the ex having breathing trouble, almost chocking.

I took his head off the pillow and tilted his head back so his airway would have a less restricted passage and once again called the same friends I called the last two times, the very same friends he was with that day. (I did call his sponsor also, but no answer) Our friends advised me to call another friend that had 11 yrs sober and 911.

Yep, here we go again..

The friend I called said he would meet me at the ER.

I had the EMT's take my ex to a closer ER, I wasn't about to make the same mistake I did last time.

The EMT's asked what he was taking and I gave them every bottle of medicine that he had. At this point he was back on the Depicote along with anxiety meds and something else that I can't think of right now.

I was asked to wait in the waiting room, while checking him in they asked me what he was taking and I told them they had everything.

It seemed they didn't believe me.

Our friend showed up and we waited maybe 10 minutes before being called in. (making the total wait 20 minutes) The Dr. met us in the hall, I gave him the OK to talk in front of the friend explaining his presence and he told us my ex had overdosed on something called Ultram.

I knew that Ultram was a prescription pain medicine, what I didn't know that it was in the narcotic family and that it was a synthetic type of morphine, or that he was taking it. I'm sure my ex knew it was a narcotic.

I was shocked, but not angry. Why? Who knows. When we walked into the the room he was totally alert and smiling, yes.. smiling. He was surprised to see our friend, but happy that I had called him.

I remember my ex specifically asking our friend with 11 yrs sobriety if he had to pick up a *white chip because of what happened and our friend said "no.. you made a mistake"

The ex's story was he had a headache from all the noise at the track and he had taken 4 Ultram instead of 2. We believed him at that moment, I don't believe it now, I don't think our friend ever did.

*(In AA, when you first join or return to "drinking or drugging" then go back "in to the rooms" you pick up a white chip)

When we got home, he actually seemed to be thankful that I saved his life, he seemed truly scared he almost died that night. I think it really hit home a few weeks later when his own sponsor died suddenly of a heart attack while at work.

Things were OK until summer, he found work at the Salvation Army, it didn't pay well but it was work. He got a new sponsor who I never met and still attending his meetings regularly. He appeared to be working the steps and doing what he was supposed to be to get well.

It was the beginning of the end though....

Living With Addiction ~ Part I

Living With Addiction ~ Part II

Living With Addiction ~ Part III

Living With Addiction ~ Part IV

Living With Addiction ~ Part V

Living With Addiction ~ Part VI

Living With Addiction ~ Part VII

Living With Addiction ~ Part VIII